This is Roald Tweet on Rock Island.
If you're on a tight budget and can't afford that nine-thousand-dollar cruise around the world in 80 days, drop over to Rock Island. We can show you how to make pretty much the same trip in three days for $142.50 including tips.
Rock Islanders are not given to scurrying nervously here and there; instead, we have waited patiently over the years while the world has come to us.
Begin your trip south of here, where the Ohio flows into the Mississippi. There, at the tip of Illinois, you'll find Cairo (pronounced “Cayro” by Illinoisans). Not far away you can visit Carnak for lunch or drop over to Thebes for afternoon coffee. No need to hurry.
Coming up the river toward Rock Island, on the Missouri side, you'll drive through Herculaneum and its famous shot tower. Cross the river at Keokuk and spend some time in Warsaw before cutting across country to Ottawa on the Illinois River. Be sure to head a few miles north to Norway. From here, turn west, visiting Peru, Princeton, and Cambridge on your way back to the Mississippi. Spend the night in Milan (“Mielan” to Illinoisans). After a short western junket to Oxford, Iowa, return to the river and head north to Luxemburg (just 90 miles west of Oregon on the Rock River). Continue up the river to Potosi (named for the famous silver mines in Bolivia) and conclude your trip at Guttenberg where there is a neat little shop on the corner of Schiller and Goethe streets.
At this point, you are just miles away from a corner of Iowa known as Little Switzerland, but you might want to save that for another trip. Come back to Rock Island and show us your souvenirs—the same Taiwanese souvenirs found around the world.
On our world tour you may have missed out on a castle or two, but you haven't had to get yellow fever shots, wait at airports, go through customs, fend off shoe shine boys or camera strap salesmen, or get your passports out once. And in our world, the $2.69 meatloaf lunches are actually visible on your plate.
Rock Island Lines with Roald Tweet is underwritten by Augustana College, Rock Island, Illinois.
